Potty Training Purgatory

Welcome to Summer's Memorable Moments 2009, where we count down the craziness .
Number 1: Potty Training Purgatory

I have to be honest. I don't want to write this post.

Potty Training. It was the major issue in our house for most summer. And the last year. Or was that the last year and a half-Who really remembers the details?

Problem #1)
Since becoming a Mom, I've been obsessed with potty training. I have no idea why, but the way other countries in this world deal with it and the way we do in the US is so different. And I need to confess, I have been critical of others potty training methods. I had friends who waited too long and had major power struggles. Their one piece of advice: start early. So, we first purchased Joshua a potty in May of 2007 at the ripe age of 18 months. He had shown interest in the process and I figured the intro couldn't hurt. After continued interested and a little consistency with peeing in the potty I did some research on methods of potty training. A friend of mine had used "Potty Training in Less than a Day" with great success, as had her sister-in-law and a few friends. So I checked out the book and prayed through it. One week in October of '07, at 23 months, we decided it was time to implement the method.

Maybe the tears over the new present should have been the first warning?

The Method
The method of "Potty Training in Less Than a Day" is one were you say good-bye to daytime diapers once and for all. You allow the kid to go naked or have some undies on. You stay home ALL DAY for SEVERAL DAYS. You teach a doll (or monkey in our case) to use the bathroom and give it a reward each time it goes. If the monkey, or child, has an accident they need to practice using the potty three times in a row. Once the monkey doll has gone through it, it's time for the kid. Meanwhile, the rewards for sitting and practicing are salty snacks and sweet juices, to get them practicing more often. Well that's all fine and dandy except that before we could get through the three practice runs, Joshua would have another accident. After two and a half days I was in constant tears and urgently calling everyone who had potty trained a child in the past decade. Then, we decided to throw in the towel. It was a hard call to make because everyone says if you give up it will take them forever. Others say if you push it, it will take them forever. I know it was the best decision for my health and the sanity of our home.

Check this Out!

The Next Round
The following summer, as Joshua turned 2 1/2, we decided it was time to start encouraging him to be diaper free again. Tobin was several months old and we were ready. Friends Jennifer and Esther were also planning D-Day (Goodbye to Diapers Day). We decided to shoot for the same week and we could have a party to celebrate at the end. I planned a cake in the shape of a toilet and we talked about what fun it was going to be. Jennifer was kind to note that I had a boy, so if we needed to wait another week for the party for Joshua to be finished, we could.

We were so naive.

All three of our kids proved to be fairly strong-willed in their lack of desire to conform to our plan.

Eventually, Joshua's girlfriends grew out of the accidents and into little ladies. Joshua never really moved out of the "my pants are wet and I'm sitting in pee, but I don't really care" phase. For a year.

The next year
The next year is a jumble of reward charts, treasure boxes, spankings (which you aren't supposed to do for accidents, but keep in mind we are talking A FULL YEAR here) , searches for the "right method," time outs, pediatrician visits, potty training resistance suggestions, etc., etc., We had days of dryness, for which he earned a treasure. After three dry days we all went out for ice cream. After seven dry days he would earn the coveted scooter. And yet, we just couldn't get past 4 days. Then we'd have several days in a row of multiple accidents. One day I saw a different pediatrician in the practice we go to who recommended play therapy. We decided to hold off until he got tubes in his ears, in hopes that this minor surgery would be the cure to every problem the boy had ever had. Really-we thought he would become an angel because other parents had transformations in their child.

But we didn't.

The Watch
On the last trip to the pediatrician-I (heart) that man- before giving up forever, he recommend Joshua wear a watch and set it every hour to remind himself to go the the bathroom. He, in all his wisdom, reminded me that there is no perfect approach to potty training; if there were someone would be a millionaire.

It worked!

It still took a few weeks to catch on, but then the clouds opened up. A ray of sunshine came shining down on our home. The sounds of angels singing could be heard for miles. (Okay, I'm being a little dramatic but it felt like that.) He earned his scooter and continued on for a 14 day stretch of dryness!!!


Mind you, we still have accidents from time to time. Recently, we've had to go back to using the watch. But I occasionally leave the house with out a another set of clothes (GASP!).

Round Two
A couple of months ago Tobin started showing a lot of interest in the potty. He pretty consistently pees in the potty before his bath. We actually had a two day stretch where he told us a few times he needed to pee and actually did! I'm just not ready to go there yet. Surely he'll figure it out on his own before kindergarten. Right?

Right?